Monday, April 30, 2007

The Ohrwurm

I'm in talks about talks with Mark Greif, an editor at n+1, about possible publication of the beginning of Your Name Here. I report this development to my co-scripteur, Ilya Gridneff.

All is not well on the business side. I told my agent, Warren Frazier of John Hawkins Associates, that I was happy for changes to be made to the book, but any revisions should be carried out by extremely fabulous Mr Ilya. Warren said he thought the message this sent was that I was washing my hands of the book.

Mr Fabulous writes:

miss hell
n+1 sounds good maybe a conduit to publishing - --> great they like it, maybe they have sway- auctoritas like augustus in the New Pork publishing welt-klang< --- mike was always a big fan off them too- as does Rebecca send me the odd article. someone with more foresight or the strength to carry a loaf of literature ... was thinking if warren (or someone of his ilk) wants to cut me out in thes idea of making the book work- i understand or accept how a book could be concocted sans gridneff etc etc..i don't particularly want this and realise the, ahem, integeral role i play, though can also see how it may hamper your own movement forward---.i could then place the stuff you worked on regarding me, like the frantic bishkek emails and chasing the posh spice money lines in my bag 2 brit - maybe a deal of publish this dewitt book but also gridneff's too...try to make every one happen- but this would be like a whack over the head by the wrong samuari...just a sordid thought sorely thought.. learnt a new german phrase from a german in the pub the other day (

[today's e-mail from IG [9 May] explains that the next para was off the record, so ***]

) the neue wort ist/// --->' ohrwurm' - meaning that catchy tune you have stuck in your head...i love the german language sometimes, it is an Ohrwurm//
well below is the latest symbol of entropy i guess, one loss is another gain. or my own loss in producing something from nothing--- is that entropy?
- aussie's benefiting from the apocylaptic bio-collapse of American bees- its just the tip of the swarmberg...surprised the little fellas don't get homesick and return to sydney where it is safe, free from pesticides and fullof friendly people...

who knows what happened to the gossipy Perez sydney role- Benny Hill-ton gone wild- saw the person in charge, who asked me to come forward into the eyes wild shut like exclusivity of Sydney Confidential, but she was all a fluster what with the MTV awards, snoop dogg being banned by immigration and fasssssshion weak---\et al said 'speak to you later...

[more off-the-record comments from IG]

saw the Pillow Book, highly recommended, great great-- greenaway is so good- ewan's willy too makes a consternated appearance, if this tickles your video rental /purchasing proclicity - it pops out at several piquant will really love this film--beautiful beautifiul...
ok keep the faith like an Iranian Baaji- or petty official in the babyklapper design team

now now/// i know it must be maddening but with new bike parts and a lust for berin life who knows what lies in wait...i have to get out of here--->
did you receive le poste?
kanibal gulag?

By Ilya Gridneff

Australian bee keepers are buzzing with unprecedented business opportunities as a mysterious disease wipes out overseas bee populations.
So significant is the drop in American and Canadian bee numbers, Australian apiarists and industry chiefs complain there aren’t enough cargo flights to export our queens to growing foreign demands.
Billions of honey bees in America and Canada have failed to return to their hive over the past two years in what scientists first detected in Europe and now call: ‘Colony Collapse Disorder (CCD).’
Scientists are baffled why close to ten billion honey bees have vanished in a trend Penn State University said has halved the American bee population since 1971.
Scientists have posited a range of reasons from pesticides, mobile phones to new parasites and mites mutating within the natural biological cycle.
German scientists blaming mobile phone use and wireless technologies for CCD, believe increased electromagnetic fields fatally interfere with bee swarms but a principle research scientist and bee expert at Australia’s CSIRO Denis Anderson hotly contests this theory.
“The cause of Colony Collapse Disorder is not yet known. If it is a distinct disorder then it is more likely to be caused by pesticides or result from secondary effects of microbial pathogens associated with the already detected Varroa destructor mite or the tracheal mite,” he said.
“The varroa mite, first detected in Asia, is like a hypodermic needle that it injects viruses and other pathogens into the bee's blood as it is feeding. The resulting infections may weaken the bee without killing it and then when entering harsh weather or bad conditions this is the final straw.
“Australia has the same mobile phone infrastructures as around the world but we are not reporting any similar behaviours to the US or Canada. The downfall of bee numbers in the US has also been reported in country areas where there’s little radio frequencies or mobile phones.
"CCD is an important issue to the wider community as one in every three mouthfuls of food can be linked to bee pollination. There is a massive flow on value from bees to all aspects of life. Bees are worth a lot more than the $60-70 million a year Australia makes in honey production.”
Doug Somerville from the NSW Department of Primary Industries echoes this sentiment and adds Australia had been exporting bees for the past 20 years but the last two has seen a boom.
“Traditionally northern hemisphere countries imported bees from Australia in their winter (our Summer) to replenish colony numbers quicker for pollination purposes, but it’s gone from zero to millions in the last two years” he said.
"Californian almond plantations traditionally saw the world’s largest seasonal migration of bees but this was an internal migration from other parts of America.
“Now the largest migration is from Australia and there isn’t enough space on flights. Exporting is also difficult as bees are sensitive to heat and as a colony in a box moved from plane to plane there is great risk they don’t make it.”
He said there were 1000 full time commercial bee keepers and 10 000 registered bee keepers with annual exports estimated at around least $3 million. Somerville added the value of bees in Australia's agricultural production ran into the billions of dollars.
One hive of bee export activity cashing in on CCD is from country NSW, Oberon, where Australian Queen Bee Exports, the country’s leading bee exporter sends millions of bees to the Middle East, Japan and America.
Warren Taylor whose trade with America alone is worth millions of dollars each year said he will meet with Qantas to discuss cargo costs.
"The last time I sat down with Qantas was in the High Court because the carrier lost one of my shipments and had to settle the damages in court. Qantas realises the potential there and wants to talk.
“With CCD everyone is benefiting, there have been all sorts of spin offs for Australian businesses.
"Bees are a high yield export as they don’t weigh a lot but sending them on palettes costs the same as other produce.
“We really can’t get enough direct flights to the US to stem demand and now there’s growing competition with airlines to capture bee exports.
“We send the best healthiest bees overseas and considering we were in a drought the future is promising. The sky is the limit. America has been worth a couple of million of dollars so far and we expect to double that next year as they will be unable to make up the lost numbers this spring and then winter.”

Could you be the guest MSN Movies presenter? Click Here to Audition

It's hard to see why an overworked, underpaid editor would not be thrilled to be in correspondence with this kind of correspondent (and I am NOT washing my hands of the book, I see my my role at this point as that of incorporating Arabic verbs of vague application into the text for the enlightenment of underinformed FBI agents), but, well, no comment.


Hassan said...

Perhaps in true YOUR NAME HERE fashion Ilya Griffith is actually yet another pseudonym for someone called James R-M, because I swear I get the same sorts of sprawling psychedelic e-mails from another (or?) Australian of said name who's also an itinerant freelance journalist of sorts.

Take for instance the following snippet: "this was herr freud’s favourite you know (he never made Professor Doktor except in the movies), apparently the king is disconsolate and is pacing the palace’s parquet and meets a double and the latter’s mother never worked in the palace but his father did. ahh, wait have i got one for you! this new-found parataxis is a kind of parapraxis made flesh if you see what I mean. how silly. in case you were wondering it was dropsy for prussian measles."

See? Same, but different. Perhaps it's some sort of burgeoning Australian literary movement. Not sure of its ancestry, but it's definitely not Peter Carey, christ no. Oddly enough, I once tried swapping literary identities him - I tried to simulate his style in the attempt to be so successful that I could perhaps send e-mails from to mutual friends that leave even him wondering if he wrote them himself, which would confuse him even further; this perplexity would then manifest itself subconsciously in his writing still more and lead to the eventual full rippening of his style, and then I'd go in and harvest - poems, novellas, screenplays, social commentary, whatever I can get, convince him that his name was Hassan A all along and then it's off to the publishers for me. But then I actually tried. Tried to get into it, write from inside the zone and everything, and it was all so confusing, I couldn't handle it. Even for a while after this experiment I began to wonder if the non-sequiturs that go shooting past every once in a while would be permanent.

Oh. And am having a blast with ordinary language philosophy ever since. Currently interested in the socio-political side of thing and am currently reading Pierre Bourdieu's Language & Symbolic Power. Class-distinguishing words as a sort of economic capital, very interesting thought if you haven't gotten to him already.

ithaca said...

IG is already a polypseudonymous character. Perhaps a single Australian is now writing all Australian literature.

I am a great admirer of Bourdieu.

TAR ART RAT said...

1."orhuwrm" is so useful, love it!
2.Regarding the bee piece- they didn't seem to accound for the population and size diffrence between Australia and Germany when taking the mobile phone factor into account, right? Hmm...

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